Elaine the Pain has opened up about the distress she experienced after visiting Brighton to pay her respects to three sisters who tragically died at sea earlier this month. The deaths of Jane Veronica Adetoro, Christina Walters and Rebecca Walters shocked communities across the UK, but Elaine said the reality of the response she witnessed in person left her shaken.

In a post she shared online, Elaine explained that she travelled to Brighton after hearing that a vigil was being held in memory of the women. She said she had been told the gathering was organised specifically for women of colour in the area. Quoting her words, she said,

“I went to Brighton to pay my respects, because apparently they were holding the vigil for them, but the women that held the vigil, they said it was only for, like, women of colour in Brighton, so it was like a small thing.”

She described driving for more than an hour to reach the seafront, where she encountered two women who told her the vigil had already taken place. They invited her to stand with them, which she did quietly. As she put it,

“So I stood with them for three minutes. I stood with them in silence, and I wanted to just be.”

Elaine then walked over to lay flowers at the memorial bench, only to find a very small display. She said,

“So I went to lay the flowers, and this was the bench, and this was it. No more, no less.” She continued, “This was basically it. That was all that's there in Brighton. And when I went there, there were still people drinking on the beach, around the bench.”

She went on to explain that what she saw and felt in that moment overwhelmed her. She recalled,

“There were kids playing by the park bench, and I just broke down crying. And what it made me realise is, everyone does all this talking on the internet, but no one actually gives a sh*t that we are dying. I just broke down crying.”

Elaine said she had expected many more people to gather for the sisters. She said,

“I was expecting flowers to cover that sidewalk. I was expecting people to come from all over to give their condolences, because they actually care. But nobody actually cares.”

Expressing her determination to ensure the sisters are honoured properly, she revealed that she is now planning her own vigil. Elaine said it mattered deeply to her that the women be remembered with dignity. Quoting her message to Black women, she said,

“I just want to tell Black women that no matter who you are, you matter to me. You matter to me. And I care if you live or die. I care if you get justice. And we're going to do right by you.”

She also shared clear details for anyone wishing to pay their respects, saying the memorial bench is located near the Black Rock car park in Brighton and easy to find. She encouraged people to visit and to watch for updates on the vigil she plans to hold.

The sisters’ deaths prompted widespread sorrow after they were discovered in the sea off Brighton earlier in May. Reports confirmed that the three women were related, and their family later shared that the sisters had lost their mother years ago, also to drowning. Police have said there is no evidence of suspicious circumstances, with early indications suggesting the women entered the water together. An investigation is ongoing, including inquests, and authorities have stated that they are working carefully through all evidence to determine the full circumstances leading to their deaths.

Their loss has reignited conversations about the disproportionate number of Black women who have been found dead in waterways across the UK. A recent Shade Borough article highlighted the issue after concerns were raised by the organisation Black Women UK, which called the pattern deeply disturbing and urged for more consistent attention, transparency and care in how such cases are investigated and reported.

Reactions to Elaine’s emotional post have varied, with many agreeing with her concerns and expressing sadness at the apparent lack of collective support. One person commented,

“She’s right, we no longer come together as a community to show up for people, it’s really sad.”

Another wrote,

“It’s sad how differently some cases are treated and remembered, When Nicola Bulley went missing, there were weeks of media coverage, specialist teams, drones and constant updates, Yet 3 Black women lose their lives at sea and the coverage disappears almost immediately. That’s why as Black women we have to look after each other, we are all we’ve got.”

There were others who argued that the limited turnout may have been influenced by the decision to make the vigil exclusive to people of colour in Brighton. One comment read,

“To be honest, only allowing people of colour in Brighton to attend might be the reason hardly anyone was there. Talk about segregation, if anyone I loved passed that way I would want anybody who cared there. Extremely sad. RIP.”

As communities continue to process the tragedy, many are hoping that the sisters’ memories will be honoured with the care and seriousness they deserve. Elaine’s reflections have already sparked wider conversations about collective responsibility, visibility and compassion, and her planned vigil may become another moment for people to come together in unity rather than division.