The UK’s unemployment figures just served up the economic equivalent of a lukewarm Pret sandwich – disappointing, predictable, and leaving a bad taste. New stats show 4.6% of Brits are now jobless, the highest since summer 2021 when we were all still arguing about lockdown parties and whether masks made our breath smell. That’s over 1.6 million people that are now unemployed!

This isn’t just another gloomy statistic – it’s a full-blown reality check. The tech sector’s busy replacing humans with AI (the irony isn’t lost on anyone), high streets are swapping staff for self-checkous and construction firms are pressing pause as costs spiral. Even the government’s number-crunchers got it wrong – their “it’ll be fine” prediction of 4.4% unemployment was ever so wrong!

Young workers are taking the biggest hit, with under-25s facing 12.1% unemployment – because nothing says “welcome to adulthood” like competing with 300 applicants for a zero-hours contract at Nando’s. Up in the North East, they’re dealing with a 6.2% rate, proving geography still dictates your chances almost as much as your qualifications.

But behind every percentage point are real people – the barista who got replaced by a robot, the graduate sending out their 50th application, the retail worker whose hours just vanished. If that’s you, know this: it’s not you, it’s the economy. And maybe, just maybe, venting in the comments will make us all feel slightly better about this mess, Residents!

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