Sex and relationship blogger Dami Olonisakin, known professionally as Oloni, is not happy with a fellow sex and relationship “guru”.
Oloni came across an insightful article by New York based “relationship expert”, Sabrina Bendory, only to find that Bendory had used a term coined by Oloni, but failed to give her any credit.
Oloni claims she first coined the term “girlfriend fluffer” in 2012, responding to Julia Allison’s term “wife fluffer”.
She then wrote a piece titled “The Girlfriend Fluffer” on her blog site, Simply Oloni, in 2014.
For context, the term “girlfriend fluffer” is used to describe a woman who invests her time “prepping” a man to be the perfect boyfriend, only for him to debut these newfound romantic skills on the next woman he dates.
Oloni addressed her frustration towards Bendory’s use of the term on her Instagram, stating that she believed the New York blogger did not “pluck it from thin air”.
After further research, Oloni found that this was not Bendory’s first time using the term.
In fact, she had done multiple interviews on girlfriend fluffers, with Oloni finding herself amused that this woman had done a “PR run with the term I coined”.
Oloni then went on to say that she felt her work was being “erased” and that the term had been in circulation on “Black British Twitter” for years.
Amusement aside, this is not an isolated incident, nor is it uncommon within the Black community.
There is a recurring history of Black creators having their work used or taken without any credit or permission, however, the rise of social media has shone a light on this injustice.
A comical example of this is when fashion giant, Marc Jacobs, boasted an “original” hairstyle named “twisted mini buns” on white models back in 2015.
Rightfully, this was met with a great deal of backlash, including a scathing article by Dana Oliver on Huff Post, as Bantu knots have existed within Black culture since the dawn of time.
Another noteworthy incident is Fisayo Longe vs fast-fashion retailer, Boohoo in 2021.
Longe, a young Black fashion designer, accused Boohoo of ripping off her designs and issued the retailer a cease-and-desist.
At the time, Longe’s women's fashion brand, Kai Collective, was beginning to flourish and gain traction, when Boohoo listed items with a suspiciously similar print to hers.
Longe spoke out against this, saying: “They're using our ideas to build wealth, becoming billionaires, and then selling that back to us. That's just so dark to me.”
This story did however have a happy ending, as Boohoo respectfully removed the items Longe had complained about.
Whether it's Oloni, Fisayo Longe or the ancestors, the vicious cycle of appropriation, instead of appreciation, continues to unfold. Sparking the question, when is enough enough?